Kaminey - A Review

They say it is very difficult to recognize contemporary genius. True, the likes of kill bill and fight club were instantly recognized for the genius they were, but not many others. Kaminey might be the genius that many would find difficult to recognize.

The fact that I get to talk of genius when it comes to a Hindi movie is refreshing. For starters, intelligence becomes a pre-requisite, and in the world of the KJs, Vishal Bhardwaj's work stands out. To put it in the form of an exasperated reaction, the immediate quip after watching the movie was 'don't the "popular-ist Indian directors" want to commit suicide when they see movies like this'!

Getting to the movie itself, Kaminey creates a world that keeps the entire audience completely enthralled for the duration of the movie. True, the entire world can draw parallels between Tarentino and Bhardwaj, but the "lead" characters in the Kaminey world are more real world than the likes of Bill and the Bride. This is just one of the many factors that will give the movie universal acceptance with the Indian audiences. One understands that the movie is very different from the usual spoonfeeding genre of Hindi thrillers that we have become used to. One understands this when for the first few minutes, one finds it difficult to come to terms with the variety and the pace of the movie as one character is introduced after another. These characters are limitless, stupendously oddball in nature, and get their deserved limelight. The performances are wonderful, the wordplay is carefully scripted and the camerawork is just unparalleled. And that is merely the beginning of the accolades you can load on Kaminey.

Its like a fast paced thriller, really, Kaminey is. You are relentlessly turning the pages just to find out whats new on the next one, and the one after that, and so on. And then, its much more than being just a fast paced thriller. There are times when just before ending up in frenzied scene, the plot lapses into a slow (mundane by its own high standards, well done nevertheless) romantic sequence.

Its also got all the makings of a creative genius. The first sequence would find it easy to fit in with the best of the cult classics. "Fatack", a mainstream, peppy, typical Hindi movie number is much more than just that - while other directors would have spent a good portion of a half hour building the characters of Guddu and Sweety and spoonfeeding the audience with the sketch, Bhardwaj gives the audience a fitting message and the introduction at the same time. There are countless brilliant sequences throughout that leave you completely enthralled, ending in a wonderful "climax" - I would have to say that the entire movie moves like the climax of a conventional Hindi movie.

Kaminey is a rare thing in the world of Hindi movies. And there are many things that enable the movie to do this. Foremost is the script. Its complicated, and that means that Bhardwaj could have lost the plot in so many places. The fact that he keeps the line taut is praiseworthy, and a great feat. Then are the characters, and we can talk about the characters for hours, that add a whiff of fresh air. They are exceptionally scripted, and wonderfully portrayed. Another success mantra of the movie is the wit and the sense of humor, that manages to get dark and subtle at the same time. Most importantly, the great thing is that Bhardwaj does not let the audience understand the title very easily - and that is an overreaching theme throughout the movie. Kaminey wants you to think, and come to terms with everytning on your own.

My verdict: Awefome. Fpend your money and go watch it!

An internal survey...

This post is to outline the results of an internal survey at the institute for something that is slightly important to a majority of the people who make the vastly vast minority of the population of this world.

The results of the survey (having removed all incrimidating evidence from the same) are as follows:

1. Having discussed the matter with the ___, we realized that this would have caused too much inconvenience to ___, and hence decided not to do it.

2. We thought that ___ wouldnt care, and hence said what the hell!

3. We were (something that is not exactly lazy, but amounts to...)

4. There was no concensus in the ___, and in order to pacify ___, we did not take any action

5. ...

6. ...

7. No reply. We like to steer clear of all topics that require any clarification.

8. We are sure a certain Mr. Raj has a lot to say on this topic. Please go ask him.

9. How the ___ can you ask us for acountability! Bah!

10. What? Was there even a query?

11. Please dont fret it. You are ___. Please focus on wasting your time doing absolutely nothing that leads to results that are absolutely inconcequential.

12. Are you ___. If we wanted to ___, wouldnt we have already done so? This matter has been ___ on the internal ___ and we unanimously decided to ___.

Please note that the survey results are extremely critical to a long term research being carried out by the institute, and that the identity of the respondents is being kept confidential.

I am in the brick brick walls...

So here is the deal... They bring you here, feed you, show you the big dreams, and then make you sign your own ransom bond. The only bright spot is that they call it the honor pledge... You sign it, and it basically means that you have signed on for one year of torture, just because you want to earn a million a month after the second. Did anyone hear me complaining... na! just my cynical self standing up and making sure that i dont let myself be taken for granted.

But one thing is certain. this is a management institute in India. Albeit the best school, but still in India. So there is stuff like lack of Internet access, strict traditions and adherence to those that you need to take for granted! Nope, no complaints again. I would love to follow the traditions, and this note is made just for the sake of it.

Another thing that is special is that this place is hot and sticky and wet. And that in totally the non-erotic sense. So a cooler, a blazing fan, and even open doors leave you sweating and gasping for some relief!

Overall, well... nothing great shakes! Lets see if i find time to reflect more on this later!

An ode to my family

I have a big family. For that matter, my family is huge, and we are very Punjabi... And for the same matter, I have somehow become acclimatised to enjoying almost all things big and Punjabi. Although I do enjoy things big and not Punjabi, but hell, thats a different story altogether...

So being this big and Punjabi family, we love to celebrate, and in this nuclear-family world, we need just another reason to get together. So this was the havan that happened today... The sorts without a sacred fire and all the 'ahutis' and all the heat, this was the 'sunder kand ka paath'... Being a loud Punjabi myself, I totally love these occasions... There is the whole family, everyone chattering with someone; and looking for someone else to chatter with at the same time! I chatter a lot, and then when i am beginning to get bored, I take pictures!



The most wonderful thing I love about my family is what they say when they meet me... for the same of convenience and anonymity, I divide my whole family into three generations:

The Oldies
The Matures
The Kids


Lets start with the oldies. This is like the Raj Kumar generation - high on ideals and idol worship. The people who have been there, done it all... These are the grandmoms and the granddads of the family, and they have spent their entire lives being loud and Punjabi, and hence these days they spend their time being pious... So the first thing you tend to do when you meet up with them is to bow down and touch their feet. and you get blessings. And these can be real varied... Here is a sample...
"Oh you are leaving... come back quick, and we will find you a very pretty girl" Okay, but well, what for?
"Oh my god... you are leaving. We stay 300 kms from the place, but do drop in... you will get free food at our place..." yeah, and you will have to give counselling sessions to our children
"Oh, we have a place in Ahd. why dont you shift there. We wont charge you a thing..."


A typical conversation:

Auntie: Son, why dont you get married before leaving... there is this very pretty girl... (to mom) you remember mrs. Malhotra - her daughter. She is 22 and very pretty.
Mom: (respectfully) right
Auntie: You know... she has done her MBA... from xyz college... they carry out such big full page advertisements... she earns 20,000 per month... works in some computer company...
Mom: (somewhat irritated) right...
Auntie: In case you are interested, we can try and match up the kundalis... but im sure they will match... so beta, where do you think will be appropriate for the honeymoon? how many kids? will you go in for family planning? or let nature take its course? will you let her work? what do you expect in the dowry?

By this time mom and I are over the edge, and we just walk away... I am certain she would be sending a pic and the portfolio of the girl in a few days...


So the good wishes keep on coming, and you really exercise your tummy bowing down and getting back up all the day... you bow when you meet them. You bow when you they leave, and you bow some more when you receive the good wishes...



I do believe that all the grandmoms should open a dating consultancy... They know all the pretty women in the world. It would be a great help to a lot of poor souls in this world... The granddads are really nice. they are serene, relaxed and always want to play cards.



Then there is the second layer... This is where my mom and dad fit in... And looking at this generation, you realize why India is the most populated country. Their parents totally ignored family planning. so there are 4 childen to each pair of grandparents on an average... Somewhere aroung 20 members in the generation - not to mention their spouses. The best things about this generation are common to most of the members:
These guys are the loudest and carry the 'loud Punjabi" tradition very well
These guys take the maximum amount of volume
These guys crack the maximum (and the worst possible) jokes
These guys are the most concerned about everything... from the color of the shirt to the size of the vest!
These guys are also really confused between being overtly pious or otherwise...
These guys cook awesome food!

And lastly, there is my generation. Everyone congratulates you, everyone looks upto you... these are the kind of people foy think are from the same earth as you...

I just love my family!!!

I always wanted to blog

Apparently, there are thirteen reasons for everything... Here are 15 reasons why I always wanted to blog!

1. I have a Gmail account
2. I believe in the shades-of-grey-thingy, and am all set to prove it to the world
3. I am just totally super intelligent and this gives me a kick
4. I want to impress all the 37 people who will read this blog
5. I am an egotist, and I like to brag about all the loser-like things that make me
6. I want to be reviewed by those great personalities who review blogs and earn money... there are some who do it just for the sake of it, but those are not the ones i want to get reviewed by
7. I was told by a fortuneteller that i would blog one day!
8. I like typing
9. I like coming up with random numbers, thoughts and stories and hope that some day, exactly 456234 people from a certain unpopulated part of this universe would read them
10. All my vests are white
11. Gujrat is a dry state, and i would need some place to vent out my frustration
12. I just got a new laptop and i wanted to try out the keyboard
13. I have been jealous of all the bloggers i know
14. My secret ambition (fantacy) is that some girl will fall in love with me after witnessing my amazing writing skills
15. I am just so totally amazingly turned on all the time

My Graduation from Evalueserve

This is copied from the goodbye mail I sent to my office folks... got a Tom Clancy game as a farewell gift... so i got something to do now!!!

Hi Everyone,

Today, I leave!

For starters (for the purpose of being politically correct as well), I’d say that my limited time with this organization has been absolutely fantastic. I am not about to say that this has been “that-perfect-place-to-work-for” kind of stuff, but there is still a lot I will take back with me; most of all some great friendships, and a great deal of respect for my co-workers.

There is so much about myself that I have discovered here – from being abruptly annoying and not-cool-at-all, to being weird at times and random at others, and then being perfectly adept at doing some kind of work. I have been everything from funny to downright rude with different people at different times. Recently, I realised that I have also been plain stupid on one occasion. But that’s not the be all and the end all of it all... what I want to point out is that I came here in a very harmless mindset, and leave having gained 15 kgs J.

As I move on with my life and into my own theatre of dreams, there is a lot that I have to thank the organization for… so here goes:

• For instilling a great sense of ethics with regard to plagiarism and client confidentiality
• For giving me the best environment to keep my brain alive and at the same time interact with some of the brightest minds imaginable
• For giving me exposure in handling not-like-minded people – the best learning possible
• For instilling a sense of “we over I in a professional environment”
• (Most importantly) For supporting me when I could have become a wreck and helping me prove my mettle to myself

So here is to say farewell, and to wish you all the very best in life.

Piyush
Mobile: 09810914232 (this will change wef 21 June 2007… will update you guys with the new number)

piyush.kharbanda@gmail.com

PS: At this juncture I realize the importance of places like Orkut… you will find me there

A new start with an end...

Bah... contradictory!

The last day of the first organization, this has taught me a lot. Seriously. For all the cynics who do believe that a job with this organization can only suck, bah!

It does suck at times (especially when its 7.00 am in the morning, you haven't been home in like 23 hours, the socks are beginning to itch, and everyone who enters looks at you like you are Major Major Major Major - even though you bear not even the slightest of resemblance to Henry Fonda), but the central theme of the job is mostly "anti-suck".

Wha... "Anti-suck", did someone say... this calls for the definition

ANTI-SUCK:
an-ti--s-u-c-k
- adj

1. An attribute typically signifying random-dispassionate-indifference towards a job.
   
2. A state usually attained after working for more than ten months in a KPO, and having been in a variety of competitive GDs with a variety of people (eg-talkative moron, dumb moron, super intelligent stud, moron taught by a certain IIT-IIM alumnus, et al).

So as i did point out, its mostly "Anti-suck", the job... Although humor aside, there is a lot I gained during my ten-month-some-day stint with my organization. I put together a list:

• 15 kgs, and about 3 inches at the last count
• Document formatting skills - if there were super heroes in the world of MS-Word, i'd be called "formatting Man". The sad part is though i couldn't possibly fit in the tight superhero outfits in my current shape - so bah - idea out of the window!
• Presentation - RCP to the previous point
• Patience to deal with situations
• Methodology to solve estimation based cases
• The essentials of a market study
• lots (and lots (and lots (and lots))) of jargon
• Some more formatting skills - and this time, presentation designing skills as well
• The importance of using bullet points
• And the effect left by sub-bullet points
  
• The non-desirability of using too many bullet points

So overall, this was a satisfying experience. I am glad i went there, despite all the dissuasion on a lot of fronts, and despite the fact that it is known more as a call center rather than a "KPO". Most importantly, it was satisfying because it allowed me to evolve, while at the same time allowing me to be independent.

And the impending new start... in a great manner was facilitated by the organization...

For all those who work with my organization and are reading this, request you to read this in lighter vain. I have nothing but the deepest sense respect for the organization. I thank you all for making my stay here a pleasurable one... For all those who do not know... Usual disclaimers about all contents being personal opinions apply.